Where cozy means tiny and charming means needs work.
A lender who will give you cash quickly based on the property's value, not your credit score. The interest rates are steep because they know you're desperate.
The asking price determined by a real estate agent's psychic abilities and wishful thinking, divorced entirely from actual market reality.
Government-imposed rules that determine what you can or can't do with your land. Designed to prevent your neighbor from opening a slaughterhouse next door.
A loan where you make equal payments over time, slowly watching the interest portion shrink and the principal portion grow. It's mathematical justice for borrowing money.
In real estate, the rate at which new properties are leased. When this number is bad, landlords become sad people.
Money held by a neutral third party during a real estate transaction, because apparently neither buyer nor seller can be trusted alone.
Buying a property while the seller's mortgage stays in their name. It's creative financing with training wheels, and your credit report is the crash helmet.
A period where property values skyrocket beyond any rational economic justification, sustained only by everyone's collective belief that prices will rise forever. Spoiler: they don't.
A legal document where the seller reveals known defects, problems, and condition issues to potential buyers. It's the permission slip to blame future problems on honesty instead of your own naivety.
The percentage of a lot occupied by buildings, determined by zoning regulations. It prevents your entire property from becoming a house with no yard.
Buy a property, slap some paint on it, overestimate its value by 40%, and sell it to someone with more money than sense.
A location so desirable that landlords charge you rent that exceeds your entire salary. Also applies to your browser's top-fold ad space.
The total amount paid to purchase a property, including the purchase price, closing costs, inspections, and the realtor's commission you definitely didn't want to pay.
Collateralized Mortgage Obligation: mortgage-backed securities bundled with other mortgages and sold to investors. These were the 2008 financial crisis's greatest hits album.
Estimated Rental Value: the projected annual rent a property should command based on comparable properties. It's an estimate, which means it's frequently wrong.
The magical process where your real estate magically increases in value while you sleep, right up until the market crashes.
What everyone says the real estate market is in right before it pops. Also what it was called right before it went up another 30%.
A comparison of similar properties (comps) that have recently sold to determine fair market value for a property; it's basically real estate fortune-telling using spreadsheets.
A final inspection by the buyer immediately before closing to verify the property condition matches the contract and all agreed repairs were completed. It's your last chance to notice that they removed the light fixtures you thought were included.
Abbreviation for Gas Central Heating, a common British heating system where gas powers the central heating for an entire building. It's on every flat listing in the UK.
The exorbitant price premium charged for properties near oceans or lakes, roughly equal to the fantasy value minus the actual utility value. Mostly for Instagram photos.
A legal agreement restricting development on a property to preserve natural resources or historical character. Also known as 'the government's way of preventing you from building that mall.'
A property management strategy where core areas are maintained traditionally while newer sections are optimized for alternative uses or revenue. It's what happens when property managers get creative.
When mortgage rates decline during the application process, allowing borrowers to lock in the lower rate. It's basically a free upgrade that lenders resist offering.