Where cozy means tiny and charming means needs work.
The formal process of determining value, typically involving clipboards, spreadsheets, and someone walking around your property looking concerned. In real estate, it's how governments decide how much they can tax you; in business, it's how managers justify their existence by evaluating everything constantly. The corporate cousin of "let me take a look at that."
A sale term indicating the property is being sold in its current state with no repairs, warranties, or guarantees from the seller. Translation: buyer beware, because that mysterious smell and creaky foundation are now your problems.
The government's official property stalker who determines how much your home is worth for tax purposes, usually right after you've renovated. These specialists combine questionable math with drive-by appraisals to decide your financial fate. They're like real estate agents, except they work for the taxman and nobody's happy to see them.