Unicorn

Definition

A startup valued at over one billion dollars, named after a mythical creature because the valuation is equally imaginary. For every unicorn, there are ten thousand startups that are just regular horses with traffic cones taped to their heads.

Example Usage

"Our company just became a unicorn, which means our valuation has more zeros than our revenue and we're named after something that doesn't exist, which tracks."

Related Terms

Beginner

angel

A wealthy individual who invests their own money in early-stage startups, typically because they're either bored with normal investments or enjoy the thrill of watching their cash evaporate in creative ways. These financial guardian spirits usually write checks between $25K and $100K in exchange for equity, mentorship duties they may or may not fulfill, and the right to say 'I invested in that' at cocktail parties. They're called angels because founders pray for them, not because they're particularly heavenly.

🚀 Startup / VC

Intermediate

revenue multiple

A valuation metric calculated by dividing company valuation by annual revenue, popular in tech because it works even when profits are mythical. Allows investors to justify astronomical valuations by citing "industry standards."

🚀 Startup / VC

Beginner

vulture capitalist

A pejorative term for investors who swoop in during distressed situations to extract maximum value at founders' expense. The same people who call themselves 'value investors' on their websites.

🚀 Startup / VC

Beginner

Bootstrapping

Building a company using nothing but your own savings, credit cards, and an alarming tolerance for ramen noodles. It's the startup equivalent of performing surgery on yourself -- theoretically possible, but everyone watching is deeply uncomfortable.

🚀 Startup / VC

Beginner

pitch deck

A PowerPoint presentation optimized for skimming, typically 10-15 slides explaining why your startup will change the world and only needs $2M to do it. It's fiction dressed up as financial projections.

🚀 Startup / VC

Intermediate

churn

The startup world's euphemism for customers abandoning ship, measured as the rate at which subscribers cancel or stop using your service. It's the metric that keeps SaaS founders up at night, because acquiring new customers is expensive but losing existing ones is devastating. High churn is basically your business slowly bleeding out, but with spreadsheets.

🚀 Startup / VC

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