Separation

Intermediate 👥 Human Resources

Definition

HR's gentle word for firing someone, borrowed from the language of divorce to make termination sound like a mutual decision. It implies both parties sat down and agreed to part ways when in reality one party did all the sitting and the other did all the parting.

Example Usage

"My manager said we're going through a separation. I asked if we could try counseling first. He did not laugh." - A recently separated employee

Related Terms

Intermediate

mediated

The act of stepping into the middle of a conflict to resolve differences, ideally before lawyers get involved or someone updates their LinkedIn status to "It's complicated." Professional mediators facilitate settlements by getting both sides to actually listen to each other—a skill apparently so rare it requires certification. It's diplomacy with a process, and yes, someone's getting paid for it.

👥 Human Resources
Beginner

retrain

The corporate equivalent of hitting the reset button on your career because your skills have become as obsolete as a floppy disk. It's when companies decide to teach old dogs new tricks rather than hiring new dogs, usually after technology has rendered your expertise irrelevant. Often involves uncomfortable Zoom sessions where you pretend to understand AI while secretly Googling basic terms.

👥 Human Resources
Beginner

PTO

Paid Time Off, which is technically time away from work that you're paid for, except you'll spend half of it answering Slack messages and the other half feeling guilty for not answering them faster.

👥 Human Resources
Beginner

reference check

The practice of contacting a candidate's previous employers or colleagues to verify their claims and uncover potential red flags. Essentially calling their exes to ask if they were really as great as they claim.

👥 Human Resources
Beginner

counteroffer

An improved compensation package your current employer suddenly produces after you resign, proving they could have paid you more all along but needed the threat of your departure to motivate them. A relationship red flag disguised as a raise.

👥 Human Resources
Intermediate

ombudsperson

The gender-neutral superhero appointed to investigate complaints and fight institutional injustice—without the cape but with significantly more paperwork. This official mediator stands between aggrieved individuals and the organizations that wronged them, theoretically wielding the power to actually fix things. It's basically a customer service manager with actual authority and fewer people yelling at them.

👥 Human Resources

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