retirement

Definition

The mythical finish line where you stop working and live off savings, investments, or delusion—whichever runs out first. In finance, it's the reason people pretend to save money in 401(k)s while secretly hoping the market crashes so they inherit someone else's wealth.

Example Usage

I'm planning my retirement by slowly accepting I'll work until I'm 80.

Source: Finance and retirement planning terminology

Related Terms

Beginner

General Ledger

The master accounting record containing all financial transactions, organized by account. It's the single source of truth for a company's finances, assuming someone entered everything correctly.

💰 Finance / Accounting

Advanced

backstop facility

A backup financing arrangement that provides liquidity if primary funding sources fail, like a financial safety net nobody hopes to use. It's insurance that you're paying for just in case everything goes wrong.

💰 Finance / Accounting

Intermediate

crypto

Short for cryptocurrency, the digital money that exists entirely in the cloud and whose value fluctuates more wildly than your mood on a Monday morning. It's either the future of finance or the world's most elaborate Ponzi scheme, depending on whether you bought Bitcoin at $100 or $60,000. Also refers to cryptography, the actual useful technology that crypto enthusiasts sometimes remember exists.

💰 Finance / Accounting

Advanced

credit default swap

An insurance contract against a borrower defaulting on debt, except it's called a 'swap' instead of insurance to avoid pesky insurance regulations. The financial instrument that nearly destroyed the global economy in 2008.

💰 Finance / Accounting

Intermediate

payback

The magical moment when an investment stops being a money pit and actually returns something positive, also known as ROI's less sophisticated cousin. In finance, it's the break-even point where you finally stop losing money; in life, it's revenge served cold. Either way, someone's getting their due.

💰 Finance / Accounting

Advanced

backwardation

A commodity market condition where near-term futures prices exceed longer-dated ones, suggesting immediate scarcity. The market's way of saying 'we need this stuff NOW,' convenience premium included.

💰 Finance / Accounting

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See “retirement” in Corporate Speak, Gen-Z Slang, Pirate Speak, and more.

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