quality of hire

Advanced 👥 Human Resources

Definition

An HR metric attempting to quantify how good new employees are, as if human value can be reduced to a number. It's typically calculated long after hiring decisions haunt you.

Example Usage

Our quality of hire metric improved this quarter, mainly because we stopped counting the people who quit within 30 days.

Source: HR analytics and recruitment metrics

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talent hoarding

When managers refuse to let high-performing employees transfer to other departments or pursue internal opportunities, prioritizing their own team's success over organizational needs. It's kidnapping, but make it corporate.

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An improved compensation package your current employer suddenly produces after you resign, proving they could have paid you more all along but needed the threat of your departure to motivate them. A relationship red flag disguised as a raise.

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succession

The formal process of passing power, position, or property from one party to the next, whether it's a CEO, a monarch, or your aunt's prized ceramic cat collection. In corporate and political circles, succession planning is the art of ensuring the ship doesn't sink when the captain retires. Also known as "musical chairs for grown-ups with actual consequences."

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An automated sequence of steps that code goes through from development to production, or a visual representation of your company's hopes and dreams flowing through stages of increasing disappointment. When the pipeline breaks, everything stops.

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cooling-off period

A mandatory waiting period before former employees can be rehired, theoretically preventing abuse of severance or unemployment benefits. It's the corporate version of 'you can't come back until you think about what you've done.'

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competency model

A framework defining the skills, knowledge, and behaviors required for success in a role or organization. Usually a 47-page document that nobody reads but HR references during performance reviews.

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