HIIT

Definition

High-Intensity Interval Training, a workout method that alternates between going as hard as humanly possible and desperately gasping for air. It promises maximum results in minimum time, which is fitness-speak for maximum suffering in minimum time.

Example Usage

"My HIIT class was only twenty minutes long but I aged approximately fifteen years during it, making it the worst trade deal in the history of time management."

Related Terms

Advanced

blood doping

The illegal practice of boosting red blood cell count before competition to increase oxygen delivery. Cheating that's technically just giving yourself back your own blood, which somehow makes it worse.

⚽ Sports / Fitness

Intermediate

grip strength

The force generation capacity of hands and forearms, limiting factor in deadlifts and the difference between holding onto heavy weight versus watching it crash to the floor in public shame.

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drop sets

A technique where you perform a set to failure, immediately reduce the weight, and continue for more reps, repeating until your muscles are begging for mercy. The fast track to muscle fatigue and questioning your life choices.

⚽ Sports / Fitness

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Macros

Short for macronutrients — proteins, carbs, and fats — tracked with the obsessive precision of a forensic accountant investigating a multinational corporation. Counting macros turns every meal into a math problem and every restaurant into a source of anxiety.

⚽ Sports / Fitness

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gains goblin

Anything or anyone that interferes with your fitness progress—poor sleep, stress, your friend who always suggests pizza. The imaginary saboteur of swoletopia.

⚽ Sports / Fitness

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coach

A trainer or instructor who guides individuals or teams to improve performance, whether in sports, business, or personal development. Modern coaching has evolved from clipboard-wielding drill sergeants to anyone with a certification and a LinkedIn profile offering to "unlock your potential." The difference between a good coach and a motivational speaker is mostly about whether they actually track results.

⚽ Sports / Fitness

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