Definition

A promise so legally binding that breaking it costs money, which is why companies hide them in fine print. It's corporate insurance against customer rage, written in language designed to make sure nobody actually understands what's guaranteed.

Example Usage

Our product comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee, unless you've opened it, used it, or breathed on it.

Source: Legal and warranty terminology

Related Terms

Intermediate

multiple

In finance, it's the magical number you get when dividing a company's stock price by its earnings—the higher the multiple, the more investors believe in fairy tales about future growth. Also known as the P/E ratio, it tells you how many years of current profits you're paying for today. Basically, it's the market's way of saying 'trust me bro' with numbers.

💰 Finance / Accounting
Advanced

evergreening

The practice of rolling over short-term loans continuously to make them function as long-term financing, or cosmetically refreshing products to extend their revenue life. It's kicking the can down the road with extra steps.

💰 Finance / Accounting
Beginner

taxable

The classification of income, property, or transactions that the government has graciously decided you should share with them. Essentially, anything that brings you joy probably falls into this category. If you earned it, bought it, or even thought about profiting from it, the taxman cometh.

💰 Finance / Accounting
Beginner

Leverage

To use something that already exists rather than building something new, which sounds strategic but usually means "we have no budget." The Swiss Army knife of corporate verbs -- it can mean literally anything.

💼 Corporate / Business💰 Finance / Accounting
Intermediate

pledge

A solemn promise with actual consequences, ranging from fraternity hazing rituals to legal guarantees securing debt repayment. In finance, it's collateral you offer up to convince someone you're good for the money; in Greek life, it's the person who hasn't earned their letters yet and does all the grunt work. Either way, someone's on the hook for something.

💰 Finance / Accounting
Intermediate

discrepancies

The polite accounting term for 'the numbers don't match and someone's either incompetent or stealing.' These are inconsistencies between what should be and what actually is in financial records, inventory counts, or data sets. Finding discrepancies is either the start of a really boring afternoon of reconciliation or a really exciting fraud investigation.

💰 Finance / Accounting

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See “guarantee” in Corporate Speak, Gen-Z Slang, Pirate Speak, and more.

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WUCIWUG

what you see is what you get...