Definition

People you owe money to who possess a supernatural ability to remember the exact amount owed with devastating precision. They're technically patient but somehow expert at making debt feel like a personal betrayal.

Example Usage

My creditors called so frequently I started screening calls from my own number.

Source: Finance and business terminology

Related Terms

Beginner

bonus

An extra chunk of money employers dangle in front of you like a carrot, supposedly based on performance but really based on whether the company had a good quarter and the CFO's mood. It's that magical sum that gets taxed into oblivion and arrives just in time to cover the credit card bill from last year's holiday shopping. The corporate equivalent of a participation trophy, except you actually had to participate quite extensively.

💰 Finance / Accounting
Intermediate

Amortization

The process of spreading the cost of something over time so it hurts a little bit every month instead of a lot all at once. It's the financial equivalent of eating an elephant one bite at a time, except the elephant is debt and you're never not eating.

💰 Finance / Accounting
Beginner

payout

The glorious moment when money actually leaves the vault and enters someone's pocket, whether it's dividends to shareholders or winnings to lottery players. In corporate speak, it's the amount distributed to investors who've been patiently waiting for their returns. The favorite word of anyone who's ever invested in anything, and the dreaded term for CFOs watching the bank account drain.

💰 Finance / Accounting
Beginner

Income Statement

A financial statement showing revenue, expenses, and profit over a period—the report card executives pray nobody reads closely.

💰 Finance / Accounting
Beginner

lender

The entity that gives you money now in exchange for you giving them more money later, ideally with interest and your sanity intact. Banks, credit unions, and that one friend who still brings up the $20 from 2015 all qualify.

💰 Finance / Accounting
Intermediate

tangible book value

A company's book value after stripping out intangible assets like goodwill and patents—basically what's left if you only count things you can drop on your foot. It's the pessimist's version of book value that assumes intangibles are worthless.

💰 Finance / Accounting

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