Definition

come have sex with me

Origin

NoSlang.com

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tgif

thank god it's friday

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HFTS

High five that shit—an enthusiastic endorsement demanding immediate celebration. Use it when someone accomplishes something so awesome that a regular high five feels inadequate.

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Assholometer

A mathematical tool used for measuring the level of asshole acts. 1-3 = Completes two acts a week that warrent the "asshole" response. 4-6 = One act a day that warrants an "asshole" response. 6-10= Behaves every waking hour as an asshole.

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rotf

rolling on the floor

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poke

A Facebook feature that lets you send a cryptic, low-commitment notification to someone without actually saying anything—the digital equivalent of awkwardly waving at someone from across the room. It screams "I want your attention but I'm too anxious to actually message you."

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twoh

typing with one hand

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