attestation

Definition

An auditor's way of saying 'I checked this, and yeah, the numbers aren't obviously fraudulent' without actually guaranteeing anything—a middle ground between full financial audits and just hoping for the best. Lawyers and accountants love it because it's official-sounding but preserves plausible deniability.

Example Usage

The attestation report confirmed that the financial statements were presented fairly in accordance with GAAP standards.

Source: Common accounting and finance terminology

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ROI

Return On Investment, or the question that makes every marketer break into a cold sweat during budget meetings. It's the ultimate accountability metric that everyone claims to care about but nobody can accurately measure, making it the Bigfoot of marketing.

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accrued expenses

Costs incurred but not yet paid, recorded as liabilities on the balance sheet because accrual accounting insists on acknowledging unpleasant realities before the bills arrive. Financial statements' way of saying 'don't get too excited, you owe money.'

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investment

The act of trading current money for the hope of future money, ideally more of it, though the market loves to remind you that hope isn't a strategy. Investments range from boring index funds to cryptocurrency speculation, all united by the principle that you're betting on something increasing in value. It's capitalism's version of planting seeds, except the weather is determined by Federal Reserve interest rates and Twitter sentiment.

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Earnings Per Share

A company's profit divided by the number of shares, giving you the illusion that you personally earned that amount per share you own. It's the finance world's way of making enormous numbers feel personal and tiny numbers feel acceptable.

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accounting

The ancient art of recording, classifying, and summarizing financial transactions, then presenting them in ways that either enlighten or confuse everyone involved. It's the language of business, spoken fluently by people who find tax codes exciting. Keeps companies legal, investors informed, and provides employment for millions who really, really like spreadsheets.

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Cash Flow

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💰 Finance / Accounting

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